His View in Sport by Rugby Ref Nigel Owens
Nigel Owens is a Welsh international rugby union referee. He is an international and Heineken Cup referee and was the only Welsh referee at the 2007 Rugby World Cup in France, as well as the 2011 Rugby World Cup in New Zealand.
Sport has always been instrumental in my life, not only because it’s my career but because of my passion for rugby, so making the decision to be honest with myself, and with other people, about my sexuality was not one that I took lightly.
Naturally, I was concerned about how people would view me, especially within the macho rugby community. Would it jeopardise my career? Would I be accepted? But when I came out, it took a lot of weight off my shoulders and my career as a referee went from strength to strength. I was happy and I could be myself. Everyone’s been supportive, from the older generation through to the younger players. I was gay, and it made no difference to my ability as a referee, or to what people thought of me.
Acceptance is the key word for me, not only, lesbian or gay individuals accepting who they are and coming to terms with that, but also encouraging society to accept that everybody is different. If you are a talented rugby player, a skilful gymnast or a good footballer, then it doesn’t matter about your sexuality, your beliefs, your race; it is safe to be who you are in today’s society and there are a lot of people going through the same thing.
The problem with stereotypes is a deep rooted one. I’ve been to schools to talk about bullying and homophobia and one visit will always stick in my mind. Before I arrived, the pupils had been doing workshops and were asked, ‘what would you do if your friend was gay?’ Two boys in the class said they wouldn’t be friends with them anymore. After my session, both of those pupils came over and asked to have their photographs taken with me. I was later told that when asked why they did that after saying they didn’t want to be friends with someone who was gay, they responded ‘Well, if Nigel Owens is the I guess its ok to be gay.’
People at home see these stereotyped characters of gay people that are camp and very funny and assume that’s what every gay person is like. It doesn’t occur to them that somebody exactly the same as them would be gay. With my role as a referee in the public eye, and with Gareth Thomas as a former rugby player, we’re living proof that those stereotypes aren’t always a true reflection. We have shown that it can be done, that you can be whoever you want to be in your chosen field and that people will accept and support you.
Sport Wales and Stonewall Cymru’s research has shown that there’s a perception that sport can be unwelcoming. When dealing with sexuality it is very different to something like bullying. Sexuality is something that people hide; it doesn’t involve other people, so until a situation occurs where someone experiences homophobic bullying within a club or sport setting it won’t necessarily have been apparent that those perceptions exist.
Now that some of these issues have been highlighted, it’s important that sports organisations demonstrate their openness and willingness to welcome everyone into sport. That’s not to say they’re not already supportive and there for people to turn to, I’ve had nothing but support, it’s about them being more vocal about it.
The message coming from the sporting sector is very clear, and that is that everyone should feel able to participate in sport. By sports visibly committing to tackling homophobia it can only reassure people that they will be welcomed and accepted; no matter what.
For more vist http://www.sportwales.org.uk/research--policy/research-themes/lesbian,-gay-and-bisexual-participation-in-sport.aspxMae chwaraeon wedi bod yn rhan gwbl allweddol o fy mywyd i erioed, nid yn unig am mai dyma yw fy ngyrfa i, ond oherwydd fy angerdd i dros rygbi. Felly, roedd gwneud y penderfyniad i fod yn onest gyda fi fy hun, a gyda phobl eraill, am fy rhywioldeb, yn un anodd iawn, iawn i mi.
Yn naturiol, roeddwn i’n poeni am sut byddai pobl yn edrych arna’ i, yn enwedig yn y gymuned rygbi macho. A fyddai’n peryglu fy ngyrfa i? ’Fyddwn i’n cael fy nerbyn? Ond pan ddes i mas, roedd e’n teimlo fel tynnu pwysau enfawr oddi ar fy ysgwyddau i, ac fe aeth fy ngyrfa i fel dyfarnwr o nerth i nerth. Roeddwn i’n hapus ’mod i’n cael bod yn fi’n hunan. Mae pawb wedi bod mor gefnogol, o’r genhedlaeth hŷn drwodd i’r chwaraewyr iau. Roeddwn i’n hoyw, a doedd hynny ddim yn gwneud unrhyw wahaniaeth i fy ngallu i fel dyfarnwr, nag i beth roedd pobl yn ei feddwl ohono i.
Derbyn yw’r gair allweddol i mi, nid dim ond unigolion lesbiaidd neu hoyw yn derbyn pwy ydyn nhw ac yn dod i delerau â hynny, ond hefyd annog cymdeithas i dderbyn bod pawb yn wahanol. Os ydych chi’n chwaraewr rygbi talentog, yn gymnast medrus neu’n bêl droediwr da, yna does dim ots am eich rhywioldeb chi, na’ch credoau chi na’ch hil chi; mae’n ddiogel i chi fod yn pwy ydych chi yn ein cymdeithas ni heddiw ac mae llawer o bobl yn mynd drwy’r un peth.
Mae’r broblem gyda stereoteipiau yn un sydd wedi bwrw gwreiddiau dwfn. Rydw i wedi bod mewn ysgolion yn siarad am fwlio a homoffobia ac mae un ymweliad yn aros yn fy nghof i o hyd. Cyn i mi gyrraedd yr ysgol, roedd y disgyblion wedi bod yn cymryd rhan mewn gweithdai ac un cwestiwn oedd wedi cael ei holi oedd, ‘beth fyddet ti’n ei wneud pe bai dy ffrind di’n hoyw?’ Dywedodd dau o fechgyn yn y dosbarth na fyddent yn ffrindiau gyda’r unigolyn hwnnw wedyn. Ar ôl fy sesiwn i, daeth y ddau ddisgybl yma ata’ i gan ofyn a fydden nhw’n cael tynnu eu llun gyda mi. Dywedwyd wrthyf i wedyn bod y bechgyn wedi cael eu holi pam eu bod eisiau cael tynnu eu llun gyda mi, ar ôl dweud nad oeddent eisiau bod yn ffrindiau gyda rhywun hoyw. Eu hateb oedd, ‘Wel, os yw Nigel Owens yn hoyw, yna mae’n debyg bod hi’n iawn bod yn hoyw.’
Mae pobl gartref yn gweld y cymeriadau stereoteip yma o ddynion hoyw sy’n fenywaidd iawn ac yn ddoniol iawn ac maen nhw’n cymryd yn ganiataol mai felly mae pob person hoyw. Dydyn nhw ddim yn meddwl bod posib i rywun sydd yn union yr un fath â nhw fod yn hoyw. Gan fod fy rôl i fel dyfarnwr yn llygad y cyhoedd, a hefyd Gareth Thomas fel cyn-chwaraewr rygbi, rydyn ni’n dyst i’r ffaith nad yw’r stereoteipiau hyn bob amser yn adlewyrchiad cywir. Rydyn ni wedi dangos bod posib ei wneud e, a bod posib i chi fod yn pwy bynnag rydych chi moyn bod yn y maes rydych chi wedi’i ddewis, ac y bydd pobl yn eich derbyn chi ac yn eich cefnogi chi.
Mae gwaith ymchwil Chwaraeon Cymru a Stonewall Cymru wedi dangos bod rhai pobl yn teimlo bod chwaraeon yn gallu bod yn amgylchedd anghroesawgar. Wrth ddelio â rhywioldeb, mae’n wahanol iawn i rywbeth fel bwlio. Mae rhywioldeb yn rhywbeth y mae pobl yn ei guddio; dyw e ddim yn cynnwys pobl eraill. Felly, nes bod sefyllfa’n codi ble mae rhywun yn profi bwlio homoffobig mewn clwb neu sefyllfa chwaraeon, ni fydd y teimladau hynny o ddiffyg croeso wedi dod i’r amlwg o angenrheidrwydd.
Nawr bod rhai o’r problemau wedi cael sylw yn y gwaith ymchwil yma, mae’n bwysig bod sefydliadau chwaraeon yn dangos eu parodrwydd i groesawu pawb i’r byd chwaraeon gyda breichiau agored. Ond cofiwch, nid dweud ydw i nad ydyn nhw’n gefnogol eisoes, neu ddim ar gael i bobl droi atyn nhw; rydw i wedi cael cefnogaeth lwyr, ond mae’n rhaid iddyn nhw fod yn fwy cyhoeddus ynghylch y peth.
Mae neges y sector chwaraeon yn un glir iawn, sef y dylai pawb deimlo eu bod yn gallu cymryd rhan mewn chwaraeon. Os bydd chwaraeon yn ymrwymo’n gyhoeddus i fynd i’r afael â homoffobia, bydd hynny’n rhoi sicrwydd i bobl y byddant yn cael eu croesawu a’u derbyn; waeth beth yw eu sefyllfa.
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